I don't know why I am so disillusionned with architecture all of a sudden. Perhaps it's because the building has been designed and all the creative part is over, leaving me to do all the tedious working out of it. I know there is much more to architecture than this, but right now I am not seeing it. At the end of the day I have absolutely no reason to complain, and should definitely count my blessings.

the excite page had a good quote yesterday, something like 'having money is good, but being loved is better'

i am running errands all weekend. the weather is perfect for errands, suddenly not too hot, which is good for walking outdoors lots, overcast, which good for working away, and still humid, which is good for that 'moisturised skin' look. i haven't partied and been quite productive. i'm helping out a friend's friend to find a flat. i am really enjoying it.

tomorrow i'm not following the traditional church service, i'm going to attend the kids' service, because they need people to help there.

Sunday update: yeah, i think i really enjoy the kids' service. because as soon as it started i caught myself thinking 'can i afford to quit architecture and do something like this for a living'. (architecture is cool, but people are more cool) lots of different kids trying to play games, competing, laughing, chatting, being bored, livening up, the whole thing was very stimulating. i've never taught anyone before, and i have a strong feeling to do so. it's my teacher friend...he told me i should think about teaching. he's a very good influence.

teachers make very good parents too. but in the uk are they are notoriously badly paid. that's not very good is it. i mean, shouldn't they be paid the most?

at lunchtime today i went to see the lady at the language place across the road from my office (this was meant to be - lol) and we had a chat that went off topic into personal territory. the girl has basically touched every language she could get her hands on, through all kinds of ways, from the traditional formal lessons to her 'listen-in-the-bath' tapes. and she said 'that's why i work here, because i like languages'. she said that every language she learnt, it was because of some friend/boyfriend/trip she had to make. it was so uplifting, because i felt similar to her, but previously i couldn't quite express it as well as her. most of the people i know who 'get far in life' don't generally waste their time learning languages. they stick both their feet in one place, stick their brain in one language, and get on with their life plan.

well i'm not one of them.

then i went back to the office to meet more such people.

i mean..i have nothing against anyone. i'm just trying to find the strength to do what i like, knowing that most people will think it's odd.

please read today's independent with regard to the recent unbelievable weather over here. london has become totally tropical. there are no measures in place to restrain energy consumption. I don't want places to flood in my lifetime.

christine is coming in 10 days      

the horoscope for today:

You know you have to do the right thing, but you don't know if you have the strength to see it through right now. Well, guess what? You do. Having courage doesn't mean being unafraid -- only idiots have no fear -- but it does mean acknowledging the fear and doing what needs to be done anyway, because you know it has to be done. So take a deep breath, and have some faith in yourself.

horoscopes are cool  

four levels of vision:
1. not seeing (wondering)
2. seeing it but never pursuing it on one's own (following)
3. seeing it and pursuing it (achieving)
4. seeing it, pursuing it and helping others see it (leading)

i think i can be at all four levels, depending on the field of activity.

Music and lights - I'll sing and dance for you all night
Sequins and pearls and lots of pretty girls
You got to have rhythm.

Forget your sorrow
let it all fade away.
Forget tomorrow
let's start living for today
Let me show you all the glamour and the gold
Secret fantasies in a show biz world.

Music and lights - I'll sing and dance for you all night
Sequins and pearls and lots of pretty girls.
Give me rhythm.

Frida Kahlo and Herzog de Meuron at the Tate Modern. Herzog de Meuron can probably challenge OMA in their unrefined ugliness.

anyway, today London was really really hot and everyone was out on the street and even the grottiest, most industrial gloomy places seemed like the south of france. i said forget old street, let's do something more posh. we sat down at an amazing place where we could see the whole goddamn river from the millennium bridge to london bridge. i have to say, i never thought this would be possible without paying lots of $$$ and without being really high up. if you wanna see what i mean, just come out with me  

today in the tube it was so hot that i was daydreaming that one day soon i will be waterskiing. i know crete has all the sea you could ask for, and lake geneva is pretty good in the summer too, but from now on i want to try other waters further away.

the final year of ucl was the year of serious bonding. prior to that i had never been forced to bond with anyone involuntarily, artificially, under harsh circumstances, it was hilarious and infuriating at the same time. i can't afford to lose these people, but somehow everyone has dispersed, so now i feel it's my role to get them together again. i get that warm and fuzzy feeling whenever i think about the five of us, i am really proud of all of us. hope we will keep growing together.