i did the stupid quiz and it says 'you're a lawyer'. lol. i am not a lawyer. but i certainly am confused. this is no time to be confused. this is like...the fast lane of our life, where it's all happening, or at least should be happening. i wish i was out of this stupid identity/life crisis. anyway, tonight i played with my 3-year-old neighbour and it was all good. i really don't know what to do first, partying or working, having chinwags or clubbing, being more hardnosed or more soft, i just want everything now. or actually, i want to have done everything yesterday. wtf man. you know what this is don't you. it's the 'i'm not too far from 30 and time is flying' syndrome.

the secrets of effective listening are:

• showing empathy and being understanding by putting  yourself in another person's situation and sharing their feelings


• being comfortable swith silence in everyday conversation. instead of talking, wait patiently and give the other person time and space to explain how they feel.


• being sensitive and caring. sometimes it takes a lot of courage for someone to share how they feel, so it's important that you don't judge them, but just accept them for who they are.

from www.samaritans.org

'the church is our family, we have no other family here' my neighbour said.

my dad calls my (mostly singaporean) christian church 'the early christians'. because they haven't institutionalised it, and they understand that it is not a religion, but a relationship with the people around you. they make a personal effort to understand the texts rather than accepting a given interpretation, they understand the church as a family and they practice christianity old skool style, i.e. they share their time casually rather than sharing rituals formally.

it's harder for some westerners to believe in christianity these days. the catholics in particular mock the establishment of the church for having turned every pleasure into a sin. priests are as established as any other profession: you can find crooks among them. religion is something that they don't have an urge for, but they go through the motions anyway like a meaningless ritual. for centuries christianity in the west was bound up with the establishment and was forced upon people, whereas for these guys, who were mostly brought up in a non-christian environment, it's an idea that they've discovered and fought for themselves. it's their own, they read and practice the texts in order to become better people.

i spent bank holiday arranging and taking part in the birthday party of G, my friend's now 3-year-old child. we basically made food and stuff for kids to play with. it was a mixed group, young mums, couples, young parents. two of these couples i really look up to in terms of educating little kids. i think this is the first time i am witnessing proper mothers around me, devoted, experienced and knowing how to discipline and how to cultivate a person. it's cool because i am always around to help and i am learning a lot  

last night we went to old street. it was nice but on the way back i couldn't help getting a bit freaked out by the amount of wasted-ness on the streets.

tonight we will go to the roof gardens. waah. starting at 10pm, it doesn't look like an early night. i am prepared to go to work even more panda eyed, again. these days i am determined to lose sleep to seeing people. after a prolonged period of hermit-style work and study, i am like a kid in a candy store when it comes to going out.

my next job i hope will be a mother. i know that if i leave work, i will be replaced by someone within a week. (okay perhaps they may not do things exactly the same, but they will be just as good. there are millions of people out there with all the skill and the gift...)  but no-one can replace a mother.

i've had an easy life so far...i think it's gonna get much harder than this...hopefully i can cope with waking up earlier, going to the gym, going on diet, not dozing off half way through the afternoon, surviving without coffee...ai...

'ladies and gentlemen, we will be landing shortly at singapore's changi international airport. kindly return your seats to upright position, fasten your seatbelts, extinguish any smoking materials, discard all chewing gum and all copies of the far eastern economic review, asian wall street journal and time magazine, cut your hair, have another child (high iq passengers only), keep your shoulders straight, smile at your neighbours, eat more vegetables...' 

lol! ok i know this may be very old hat to you guys, but i bet it's gonna make you smile.

holiday in singapore part 1

holiday in singapore part 2

it's all good yo, don't be offended la, i am a huooge fan of all things just and moral.

wow...they used to tell me about looking after one's parents when one grows old, but i hadn't realised what it really meant until this dude did it in front of me. i don't know anyone else who is looking after their parent at our age, let alone someone who does it with such grace, fun and devotion.