more crap advice....

you know how i was saying earlier that sometimes people give crap advice...based on their experience, and not yours, because they dish it out without trying to get to know your life first...

once upon a time my mum came to london with a friend of hers and the three of us went for dinner. then the friend proceeded to tell me that 'all his hong kong friends from uni went back to hong kong and he never saw them again'. sure, but then again he got married and lived a quiet life in greece.

this is exactly what p told me about c. 'why are you bothering? he'll go back home and you'll never see him again'.

well...they had no idea. just because they do everything that's sensible and tried and tested - and complain about it - they think that i will do the same too. but i've learnt one thing from my endless and enormous childhood mistakes: trust your instinct and make your own mistakes. why do they think that my life will be like theirs? do i seem stereotypical? no. i wish it had been more stereotypical, but i was never dealt any stereotypical cards in life and i had to invent some solutions. so life so far has turned out different from what we all expected. (i plan this and plan that but i still always end up making decisions on the go, because things change all the time.)

when i was at school, i was really afraid of daring anything. (except perhaps talking to people). now ideas for things to do pour out of my head like they're going out of fashion. i like to think that anything is possible, even if i end up doing something really boring, the thought that there is more to life keeps me going. i'm less likely to save up and more likely to spend all the money i've got just to see people. i want to be fearless about doing whatever sounds like fun/exciting/unknown to me, because i have seen the non-risk and the lack-of-broad-horizon and you can bet i am not going there again. i'm not reckless with money or time. but people are worth all my money and all my time. i just want to live life to the max, something i've yet to do. some of my parents' acquaintances used to tell me how my life has been written thousands of times before and that i am bound to stick to Their Path, yeah man...i pray to god for their sake that these days they're less stuck in the past because the times are changing....

anyway, my advice is (LOL) that ultimately, everyone can dish out advice when it comes to following a well-trodden path, they just tell you exactly what they've done, and what everyone they know has done. easy peasy. But when it comes to stepping of the beaten track, then really, watch out whose advice you are taking. don't take advice that comes without examination. and if i give you unexamined advice, i hope you will tell me straight away.

I'm in an eighties kinda mood

What you gonna do? You want to get down?

How you gonna do it if you really don't want to dance,
By standing on the wall?

Get your back up off the wall. Dance! Come on!

before going to sleep i've been reading this book which makes fun of the differences between brits and continentals. it was written by a continental who went to the uk a long time ago and kinda got 'assimilated'. kinda. i had read it ages ago at school, in greek, and i was laughing back then without really relating. now i relate. man. why do all greeks try to live in belgravia. that place will never change. i should move to canary wharf, which is clean and future-friendly. apparently canary wharf looks like singapore. apparently there's a rowing centre built by ian ritchie with an in-built chinese restaurant. so in regattas the catering is chinese food. rowing + chinese food + clean pavements = man, i should really move there. but no, i am moving to queen's park, which must be much dirtier than singapore. anyway, brits and continentals. i have this workmate who is really uneducated and thinks telling people that brits are better is funny. but if i don't want to raise eyebrows, i'm going to have to think of a really polite and funny way of making her understand that she's really rude. i know she's got issues with her identity so i shouldn't take offense. and i know that when people really feel superior, they don't broadcast it all over the floor. i admire it if you really feel superior, it's called confidence. the broadcasting bit is called insecurity. why is she so insecure man, am i threatening her? well...it appears that everyone who works harder and is more into it is a threat to her...she's not the only one and i should understand.

i am made constantly more aware of the advice i give.

i have been given lots of crap advice, sometimes by people who are 'high up there' and should know best. but the truth is, sometimes people don't think from your perspective.

what is good advice? good advice requires a lot of listening. before i rush to give advice, it's best to wait and listen. it's best to be patient anyway. it's best to ask questions rather than just dish out whatever is at the tip of my tongue. who says that what is good for me is good for someone else? 

and who says that i've drawn the right conclusions from the experience so far? 

good advice is always given by thinking 100% from the other person's point of view. this is to be etched in my head. perhaps i should tattoo it on my wrist.  

once a week i think of giving up architecture or tweaking it to do something more people-focused.

...but really...i should move through the small things onto bigger things, so i don't get tired and impatient. and as for my people-focus, i should get people energy from relationships, and not expect to get people-pleasure from work.

besides the 'wow-so-sexy' factor, when the dude was explaining his project, in a geeky moment, i felt like i absolutely had to listen. he was so chuffed about it, about finishing his own project for his work, about doing late nights until it was over...man i need to listen to him more. where's my enthusiasm? why am i such a vegetable? i'm supposed to shine my own 'motivation' light on others, not wait for others to shine some 'enthusiasm' rays on me. wtf. anyway...it won't hurt talking to him again. he cheers me up.

so...more enthusiasm is needed. yah!

http://www.fifteenrestaurant.com

 i don't know why you left her. she had brains. she had class. she had beauty. she was friendly without being fake or needing to prove anything, or needing to make friends everywhere. what possessed you? she was a truly classy lady. i don't know what your new one is like, but i will never forget her. i really liked her. i hope you find someone as good as her. and i hope she finds someone as good as you.

on a different note, i met with a sales rep this morning and she reminded me of some girl i know. overpowering. overbearing. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH TODAYYYY???? OHHH CERTAINLYYYYYYY! *i raise my eyebrow* lady take your 'I AM HERE TO DELIGHT YOU' mask off, land back on your feet, then we can talk. you're only selling waterproofing membranes for God's sake.

never thought i'd come across a half-cast english guy with a penchant for greek stuff. interesting. the guy has more greek friends than i do, has been to more islands than i have, and knows where my parents live. that makes me feel quite comfortable.

funny what uni does to you. you mingle with the people who make you feel at ease. sometimes they 'adopt' you in their possee. and then you acquire a 'penchant' forever after.

i love xanga. all the different ways people have to express themselves, yet a lot what they say strikes cords and rings bells...makes me feel part of the bigger picture  

i had dinner with a friend who has a little girl of 2. i played a little with her and i feel great now. hey maybe i'm not doomed to be a bad mum 

on the other hand, i've just realised, the need to be where it's at. i can't live in the suburbs, or ensconced in a small office, or in a small place, and it will be like this for a while for me, possibly forever. i need to live the bright lights, big city, big office kind of life. i really need it. i think it's the result of being a lonely only child, living in the suburbs, i have suburb-phobia, general backwater-phobia. as for the suburban flat which is pending, i am planning to return home with the last tube mostly, after having worked, worked out, and socialised until my eyes shut for the night. you only live once.

last night after all the zzzz-ing, i conked out at 8.30pm and consequently woke up at 6am this morning. completely spaced-out by this incredible feat of having woken up early, i started having deep thoughts. like, a 28-year-old crisis. omg i am 28 and single, and i draw parts of a building for a living. i really felt like doing something about my situation, so once on the bus, i took out the laptop (oh dear) and typed a resolution about making a bigger effort. then i had a moccha and i managed to have a pretty fast day.

this is the adrenaline talking. i think i need to go out and run. i can always have a moccha in the morning. lol.